How to find a mentor?

Are you my mentor?

Chasing or forcing that connection rarely works, and yet so many people that imagine mentoring. When somebody asks a question like this, probably in response to hearing “no”. This question terribly spoils the atmosphere and is embarrassing for the person to whom it is addressed.
When someone finds the right mentor, it is obvious. The question becomes a statement.

Many young people starting their adventure with the career of thought mistakenly that to quickly climb the ladder of the corporate ladder, they should look for a mentor (someone who they advise) and promoter (someone who will use their influence and intercede for them). Contrary to appearances, the difference between a mentor and sponsor (promoter) is essential and important to not confuse.

Finding a mentor is often reminiscent of waiting for Prince Charming. Raiders think that if they find a suitable mentor, this will push them up the ladder of professional and give them a beautiful cabinet, which will be a long and happy work. To be clear, the question is not whether to have a tutor, mentor or master promoter is important. Because of course it is, but no matter how important it might be our contacts, probably never emerge they question a foreign person, whether he will be our mentor. The strongest relationships are born from real relationships, which frequently have to work both ways.

Research shows that mentors choose their proteges on the basis of the results of their work and the potential of the feature. Intuitively, we invest in those who stand out talent, or who have a lot to benefit from our help. (1)

So we should stop advise young people:

“Get a mentor and you will excel”

Instead, we need to tell them:

“Excel and you will get a mentor”. (2)


Mentoring contrary to appearances, often works both ways, especially in the case of people who are already working in the same company. Maybe protege receives more direct assistance, but also mentor benefits – useful information, greater involvement of co-workers, not to mention a sense of pride and satisfaction.

And finally, another important piece of advice for the mentee. Few mentors who have the time to constantly keep their clients by the hand. Most of them herself struggling with his hard stressful work. Protégé, who has a positive attitude and is a ready mentor can while away the day. That is why the mentees should avoid grumbling and complain about his mentors. Use of time mentor to externalise their feelings can be helpful in a psychological sense but do not mistake mentor psychoanalyst :-).

Therefore, my dear before they find in their path mentor, be a mentor for themselves.

1) Romila Singh, Belle Rose Ragins and Phyllis Tharenou, “Who Gets a Mentor?”
2) Sheryl Sandberg, “Lean In”

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